Hey, I Didn't Say It!
Page 2

After all is said and done, more is said than done. - anonymous

Christ died for our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them? - Jules Feiffer

Someday we'll look back on this moment and plow into a parked car. - Evan Davis

Join the army, see the world, meet interesting people, and kill them. - anonymous

If you look like your passport photo, you're too ill to travel. - Will Kommen

You get into a fight, first thing you do is whang yourself over the head with a fryin' pan or somethin'. Usually, your opponent will then run away, figgerin' that if you was willing to do that to yourself, then what was you fixin' to do to him! - Forrest Gump (as written by Winston Groom)

Wagner's music is better than it sounds. - Bill Nye

Only sick music makes money today. - Friedrich Nietzsche (in 1888)

Never forget that music is much too important to be left entirely in the hands of professionals. - Robert Fulghum, from Maybe (Maybe Not)

Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung. - Voltaire

Breathe in breathe out breathe in breathe out. - Gavin Rossdale / Bushx, from "Machine Head"

It must be inordinately taxing to be such a boob. - "The Brain", from Pinky And The Brain

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity. - anonymous

Human beings can always be relied upon to assert, with vigor, their God-given right to be stupid. - Christopher Snow (as written by Dean Koontz), from Seize The Night

A critic is a man who knows the way but can't drive the car. - Kenneth Tynan

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare. - Fred Allen

Unsportsmanlike Conduct ... which means "I didn't see it". - Jim Robson

This would be a better world for children if the parents had to eat the spinach. - Groucho Marx

Doesn't mean that much to me to mean that much to you. - Neil Young, from "Old Man"

It's better to be wanted for murder than not to be wanted at all. - Marty Winch

I am how God made me; I'd rather you hate me, than not matter at all. - Andy Prieboy, from "Cannot Not"

One hundred thousand lemmings can't be wrong. - anonymous

If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done. - anonymous

The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting. - Gloria Leonard

I don't do my own stunts. I do my own acting. And I do my own hair. - Harrison Ford

I have a very "Can you start my orange?" approach to life. - Janeane Garofalo

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad to realize that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days. - Garrison Keillor

The main thing the public demands of a composer is that he be dead. - Arthur Honegger

Poor Lou Gehrig. Died of Lou Gehrig's disease - how the hell'd he not see that coming? - Denis Leary

I ain't deprived, I'm delinquent. - "Casey Brown" (Jodie Foster), from Candleshoe

If you put your money where your mouth is, you will look very strange to other people. - Forrest Gump (as written by Winston Groom)

The colors are less intense and the people are uglier. - Calvin (as written by Bill Watterson), about the real world versus TV, from Calvin And Hobbes

Life is extinct on other planets because their scientists were more advanced than ours. - anonymous

Don't look for happy endings - it's not an American story; it's an Irish one. - "Rory Devaney" (Brad Pitt), from Devil's Own

I think I'm dumb, or maybe just happy. - Kurt Cobain / Nirvana, from "Dumb"

There is nothing more exhilarating than to be shot at without result. - Winston Churchill

I'm always saying "Glad to've met you" to somebody I'm not at all glad I met. If you want to stay alive, you have to say that stuff, though. - Holden Caulfield (as written by J.D. Salinger), from Catcher In The Rye

It's just a game if you win. If you lose it's a stinkin' lousy waste of time. - anonymous

If I said that you're my friend and our love would never end, how long before I had your trust again. - W. Axl Rose / Guns N' Roses, from "Locomotive"

I thought I had an appetite for destruction, but all I wanted was a club sandwich. - "Homer Simpson" (Dan Castellaneta), from The Simpsons

He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt. - Joseph Heller, from Catch-22

If I had known I was going to live this long I would have taken better care of myself. - anonymous

Is sloppiness in speech caused by ignorance or apathy? I don't know and I don't care. - William Safire

One of the great ironies of Nike is that it chooses iconoclasts as role models, thus encouraging kids to express their individuality by buying the same shoes as every other kid. - Bruce Grierson, from his article on Nike's marketing genius, Hockey Nike In Canada, from Saturday Night Magazine

The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits. - anonymous

Might as well jump. - David Lee Roth / Van Halen, from "Jump"

Never jump into a pile of leaves with a wet sucker. - "Linus Van Pelt" (Chris Shea), from It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown

Some people, like me, are born idiots, but many more become stupider as they go along. - Forrest Gump (as written by Winston Groom)

The birds, Frances, look at the birds. Do you want to fly like the birds? - Courtney Love to daughter Frances Bean near Lake Washington, one day after Kurt Cobain's body was discovered

Injustice will not be destroyed until those who are not affected by it are as outraged as those who are. - "Grace Kelly" (Brett Butler), Grace Under Fire

Spoon! - "The Tick", battle cry, from The Tick

If you can judge a wise man by the color of his skin, then mister, you're a better man than I. - Steven Tyler / Aerosmith, from "Livin' On The Edge"

I'm not a racist myself because I always felt: why hate somebody based solely on the color of their skin where, if you just take the time to get to know them as an individual there's so many more valid reasons to loathe each other.... - Dennis Miller

Everybody knows that the world is full of stupid people. - Refreshments, from "Banditos"

People make me pro-nuclear. - Margaret Smith

She's got so much clit she don't need no balls. - L7, from "Fast And Frightening"

Overheard telephone conversation shortly after the heart attack death of figure skater Sergei Grinkov: "It must have been such a shock [to his wife/partner] to have all that [success] and then, in a heartbeat, it's gone!"

Overheard in a movie theatre line-up, someone summarizing the film The Crying Game: "It's about gays."

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. - Robert Benchley

Lord Ronald said nothing; he flung himself from the room, flung himself upon his horse and rode madly off in all directions. - Stephen Leacock

I put on my best Sunday dress and I walk straight into this mess of mine. - Courtney Love / Hole, from "Starbelly"

When you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut. - anonymous

Most people don't look dumb till they start talkin'. - Forrest Gump (as written by Winston Groom)

A closed mouth gathers no foot. - anonymous

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