Hey, I Didn't Say It!
Page 6

The minute a man is convinced that he is interesting, he isn't. - anonymous

The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory. - Paul Fix

Bein' a idiot is a lot of fun when ain't nobody lookin'. - Forrest Gump (as written by Winston Groom)

No one is listening until you make a mistake. - anonymous

Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody is looking. - anonymous

The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action. - anonymous

Never tell me the odds. - "Han Solo" (Harrison Ford), from Empire Strikes Back

The shortest distance between two points is under construction. - anonymous

Don't look at me in that tone of voice. - "Dorothy Parker" (Jennifer Jason Leigh), from Mrs. Parker And The Vicious Circle

I don't really miss God but I miss Santa Claus. - Courtney Love / Hole, from "Gutless"

The way to make a small fortune in the commodities market is to start with a large fortune. - anonymous

There's an intrinsic value in doing something without being the best at it. - Susie Gephardt

There is no time like the present for postponing what you ought to be doing. - anonymous

Never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid all together. - anonymous

Anything not worth doing is worth not doing well. Think about it. - Elias Schwartz

There's plenty of time to do nothing once you're dead. - "Dorothy Parker" (Jennifer Jason Leigh), from Mrs. Parker And The Vicious Circle

They are able because they think they are able. - Virgil

"Skit" means "shit" in Swedish, so what exactly are Skittles? - anonymous

Be prepared to take some shit in life; just do not take more than a mouthful at a time. - Forrest Gump (as written by Winston Groom)

I think bad language is highly overrated as something people take offence to.... Hey, the issues we should be worried about are kids on junk. We should be worried about AIDS, we should be worried about people getting shot at school. There's a lot more serious things going on other than somebody getting cussed out.... - Bruce Fairbairn

Those of you who think you know everything are annoying those of us who do. - anonymous

You could use a good kiss! - "Han Solo" (Harrison Ford), from Empire Strikes Back

I could kiss you, but I'm not sure it would come out right. - "Dorothy Parker" (Jennifer Jason Leigh), from Mrs. Parker And The Vicious Circle

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach. Those who can't teach, administrate. - anonymous

For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

If dandelions were rare and fragile, people would knock themselves out to pay $14.95 a plant, raise them by hand in greenhouses and form dandelion societies and all that. But they are everywhere and don't need us and kind of do what they please. So we call them "weeds," and murder them at every opportunity. - Robert Fulghum

Up through the cracks; up through the broken glass; in the hot red light of a black and white: roses grow. - Johnette Napolitano / Concrete Blonde, from "Roses Grow"

Those who flee temptation generally leave a forwarding address. - Lane Olinghouse

And these children that you spit on, as they try to change their world, are immune to your consultations; they're quite aware what they're going through. - David Bowie, from "Changes"

You say it's raining but you're pissing down my back. - Sebastian Bach / Skid Row, from "Riot Act"

Flies like to fly 'cause they don't like to stay. - Chris Ballew / The Presidents Of The United States Of America, from "Feather Pluckn"

You can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar, but you can also catch more flies with garbage than either of them other two - assumin' you are into catchin' flies. - Forrest Gump (as written by Winston Groom)

Flies spread disease ... so keep yours zipped. - Nels

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana. - Groucho Marx

Time doth flit
Oh shit. - "Dorothy Parker" (Jennifer Jason Leigh), from Mrs. Parker And The Vicious Circle

Time is nature's way of making sure that everything doesn't happen at once. - anonymous

Who's the more foolish: the fool or the fool who follows it? - "Ben (Obi-Wan) Kenobi" (Sir Alec Guinness), from Star Wars

To laugh at men of sense is the privilege of fools. - anonymous

What if there were no hypothetical situations? - anonymous

To refuse praise is to seek praise twice. - anonymous

We have met the enemy and not only is he ours, he is us. - Walt Kelly

We really don't have any enemies. It's just that some of our best friends are trying to kill us. - anonymous

Sometimes it's wise to know which way the gun is pointing before you yell "I see the whites of their eyes". - Lowest Of The Low, from "Salesmen, Cheats And Liars"

Oh dear Lord, you made many many poor people. I realize of course, it's no shame to be poor. But it's no great honour either. - "Tevye" (Topol), from Fiddler On The Roof

We may not imagine how our lives could be more frustrating and complex - but Congress can. - Cullen Hightower

I may be dead, but I'm still pretty. - "Buffy Summers" (Sarah Michelle Gellar), from Buffy The Vampire Slayer

What makes us so bitter against people who outwit us is that they think themselves cleverer than we are. - anonymous

When in doubt, use brute force. - Ken Thompson, Bell Labs

I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you. - anonymous

You never get a second chance to make a first impression. - Head & Shoulders commercial

When you try to make an impression, the chances are that is the impression you will make. - anonymous

Why do first impressions have to be so important? I make a great fourth impression. - "Pete Dunville" (Richard Ruccolo), from Two Guys, A Girl And A Pizza Place

When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt. - anonymous

You are not thinking. You are merely being logical. - Neils Bohr to Albert Einstein during a debate on Quantum Mechanics

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us. - Calvin (as written by Bill Watterson), from Calvin And Hobbes

If women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy. - "Red Green" (Steve Smith)

Life can be one big toilet, so for all our sakes, don' make waves. - Forrest Gump (as written by Winston Groom)

That's one of the remarkable things about life. It's never so bad that it can't get worse. - Calvin (as written by Bill Watterson), from Calvin And Hobbes

You live in a deranged age, more deranged than usual, because in spite of great scientific and technological advances, man has not the faintest idea of who he is or what he is doing. - Walker Percy

We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience. - Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

We are spirits in the material world. - Sting / The Police, from "Spirits In The Material World"

I'm not having enough fun right now. - Calvin (as written by Bill Watterson), from Calvin And Hobbes

Oh God no. Gotta have something in the show that moves. - "Dorothy Parker" (Jennifer Jason Leigh), when asked if the lead actress in her play should be wearing a brassière, from Mrs. Parker And The Vicious Circle

Is she pretty on the inside? Is she pretty from the back? - Courtney Love / Hole, from "Pretty On The Inside"

I look like me but I still feel like you. - Killjoys, from "Look At Me"

"Don't you want to join us?" I was recently asked by an acquaintance when he ran across me alone after midnight in a coffeehouse that was already almost deserted. "No, I don't," I said. - Franz Kafka

I don't like Mondays. This livens up the day. - Brenda Spencer, when asked why she opened fire on an elementary school (Bob Geldof then wrote a song about it)

I didn't want to hurt them, I only wanted to kill them. - David Berkowitz (aka Son Of Sam) after killing six and injuring seven people in a shooting spree

Night breeds its own sort of anticipation. - Jacqueline Carey

I think nighttime is dark so you can imagine your fears with less distraction. - Calvin (as written by Bill Watterson), from Calvin And Hobbes

We have nothing to fear but fear itself. That, and those great big furry spiders. - Lev L. Spiro

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