Hey, I Didn't Say It!
Page 8

There are more pleasant things to do than beat up people. - Muhammad Ali, on retiring

There are alternatives to fighting. - "Ben (Obi-Wan) Kenobi" (Sir Alec Guiness), from Star Wars

The first man who picks up a gun is the man who has run out of ideas. - H.G. Wells

Kevin Smith on first viewing Degrassi Junior High (from the Canadian edition of TV Guide, January 29):
I marveled at the wonders of performances so wooden they made the Ed Wood oeuvre seem Streep-like in comparison (and I know from wooden performances, my Canadian friends: I've worked with Ben Affleck).

If you see a line, go stand in it. Probably can't hurt nothin'. - Forrest Gump (as written by Winston Groom)

If you would learn what God thinks about money, you have only to look at those to whom He has given it. - anonymous

Oh, it's so easy to be sweet to people before you love them. - Dorothy Parker, from A Telephone Call

I never know how much of what I say is true. - Bette Midler

I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true. - Dorothy Parker

BRUCE: I didn't see you at the [cancer benefit] show last night.
BRUCE: What are you, pro-cancer?

I hope it's a sunny day tomorrow; I'm gonna go downtown and do lots of nice things. - Leona McKay

I understand what makes a woman think that any man is better than nothing. I'll just never understand what makes a woman think she's got nothing. - "Jeremy Goodwin" (Joshua Malina), from Sports Night

We're going to the Alanis Morissette concert, who to the untrained ear might sound like a whining, adolescent, twenty-one year old millionaire. But luckily I had Paige to explain her to me: her words; her pain; her rage. I can't wait. - "Spence Kovac" (Jeremy Piven), from Ellen

Emergency Phone And Crisis Counselling - sign by a telephone on the Golden Gate Bridge

If the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, what colour is the fence? - Zen koan

Never be afraid to try something. Remember, it was amateurs who built the Ark and professionals who built the Titanic. - anonymous

I don't condone wife-beating, but I understand it. - Sam Kinison

Passionate esoteric music to wreck a house to. - Henry Rollins, describing his band's sound

Some people say I'm obnoxious and lazy; I'm uneducated; my opinion means nuts. But I know, I'm a real cool dancer. - John Cougar, from "Crumblin' Down"

It's not summer if your tongue isn't purple. - Calvin (as written by Bill Watterson), from Calvin And Hobbes

There's no such thing as "too late". That's why they invented death. - "Charles Gordon" (Walter Matthau), from Out To Sea

Hazards are one of the main causes of accidents. - U.S. Occupational Safety and Health Administration, from Safety With Beef Cattle

Death is a health crisis. - "Agent Dana Scully" (Gillian Anderson), from The X-Files

When I was a child, I spoke as a child. I wish I could remember what I said. - Todd Snider, from "I Spoke As A Child"

Sometimes I guess there just aren't enough rocks. - "Forrest Gump" (Tom Hanks), from Forrest Gump

I met her in a hotel lobby masturbating with a magazine. - Prince, from "Darling Nikki"; the line that prompted Tipper Gore to create the PMRC

Reality is nothing but a collective hunch. - Lily Tomlin

The only way to reform some people is to chloroform them. - Thomas C. Haliburton

On a hot summer night would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses? - Meat Loaf, from "You Took The Words Right Out Of My Mouth (Hot Summer Night)"

Life was easier when I didn't have one. - Pell Emanuelsson

Hating a singular person ... it's really not worth your while. - Rollins, from "Hating Someone's Guts - Pt.1"

Religion is the smile on a dog. - Edie Brickell / New Bohemians, from "What I Am"

I ... hate Edie Brickell. - Rollins, from "Hating Someone's Guts - Pt. 1"

I'm not like other guys. - Michael Jackson, from the "Thriller" video

If everything is under control, you're going too slow. - Mario Andretti

There is more to life than increasing its speed. - Mahatma Gandhi

If you said jump in the river I would because it would probably be a good idea. - Sinéad O'Connor, from "Jump In The River"

After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one. - Cato the Elder

My toy fell in the food and I ripped my hat. - Adam Vivier (metaphor for life?)

Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words. - Calvin (as written by Bill Watterson), from Calvin And Hobbes

This year I'm really gonna kick that football. - "Charlie Brown" (Peter Robbins), from It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown

Why make your fingers wiggle if you already know what the notes are? - Frank Zappa, on why he doesn't play guitar anymore (circa 1991)

Iron was discovered because someone smelt it. - anonymous

There was a silence with things going on in it. - Dorothy Parker, from Here We Are

When you're pushed, killin's as easy as breathin'. - John Rambo (Sylvester Stallone), from Rambo

¿Cómo frijoles? (How have you bean?) - anonymous

I lied when I smiled. - "Dorothy Parker" (Jennifer Jason Leigh), from Mrs. Parker And The Vicious Circle

The sun in your eyes makes some of the lies worth believing. - Alan Parsons Project, from "Eye In The Sky"

They had every stereotype on the bus.... Why not just go the whole nine and have, like, Eskimo with a harpoon sitting back there ... Indian, full headdress ... shifty-eyed gangster, pin-stripe suit, fingering a violin case. Why not? - Janeane Garofalo, on Speed

Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people who pissed me off. - anonymous

Help me to be careful of the toes I step on today as they may be connected to the ass that I'll be kissing tomorrow. - anonymous

The time is gone the song is over, thought I'd something more to say. - Pink Floyd, from "Time"

The majority of those who put together collections of verses or epigrams resemble those who eat cherries or oysters; they begin by choosing the best and end by eating everything. - Sébastien Chamfort

Sooner or later we all quote our mothers. - Bern Williams

My God, you people are all, well, I'm upset and I can't think of a mean word right now, but that's what you are. - "Willow Rosenberg" (Alyson Hannigan), from Buffy The Vampire Slayer

I was dreaming when I wrote this, forgive me if it goes astray. - Lisa / Prince And The Revolution, from "1999"

You're not funny. - "Veronica Sawyer" (Winona Ryder), from Heathers

Oh well, whatever, never mind. - Kurt Cobain / Nirvana, from "Smells Like Teen Spirit"

PREVIOUS | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | NEXT

Rights for each quote owned by individual copyright holders.

If you want more and can handle some nasty words, keep going!

Back to Another Useless Home Page

Canadian Flag
This page copyright © Rockin' In London, Ltd. 1998. Unauthorized use of any part is prohibited.
Please send any suggestions, comments or criticisms to its creator, StickBoy
The spinning maple leaf flag is a trademark (TM) of Rockin' In London, Ltd. Unauthorized use is prohibited.
Canadian Flag